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probably looked a little something like this right Jared
(Source: idiotsonfb)
Lights Out: Everything Is Terrible presents a collection of completely WTF self-defense techniques you can employ to fight off a potential rapist, including “passing gas” or “excreting on yourself” in an attempt to be less attractive to an attacker.
And, of course, there’s the ever-popular “bite his d*ck off” technique.
What? Learn actual martial arts? That’s silly.
(Sorta not safe for work, graphic cucumber-biting.)
[b3ta.]
When she looked into it, she found herself holding her children’s birth certificates, and all of their names weren’t shitty
(Source: turnt3chgodh34d, via our-eloquent-incoherence)